


The Fairy, or Life Sucks

by 50251sid



Category: The Borgias, The Borgias (2011)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Excessive Drinking, F/M, Hallucinations, Oral Sex, Sexual Fantasy, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-24 15:14:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1609697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/50251sid/pseuds/50251sid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A drunken Cesare Borgia gets a visit from a very special fairy</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fairy, or Life Sucks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [desade1970](https://archiveofourown.org/users/desade1970/gifts).



Thank god for designated drivers!

 

Cesare Borgia, drunk as a lord, stumbles up the stairs to his bedroom. He trips and bangs his shin against the stair riser, involuntarily cursing.

 

_Shhh! Don’t wake anyone up!_

 

His mother will kill him if she sees him shitfaced. His father will confiscate his fake ID.

How many beers has he drunk? Enough. More than enough. He has lost count. Just as he had lost count of the number of dollar bills he had stuffed into the G-Strings of those strippers. That one in particular, the one who winked at him…what a rack! It may even have been real. Fake boobs don’t usually bounce that freely. He would have loved to grab one to determine, but he would have had his ass thrown out for sure.

Why do men go to strip clubs anyway? All that flesh on display and a man can’t touch a thing. At least in a whorehouse, you can finger the goods.

 

_Oh, man! I feel like shit! I’ll never do this again._

_Until the next time…._

 

_If I brush my teeth, I’ll hurl. I’ll just get undressed and go to sleep._

 

He strips to his underwear and lies down on his bed, and the room begins to spin.

 

_Aw, shit! Now I **am** gonna hurl… Just be still. Don’t move my head. Don’t touch my stomach. Aw, shit!_

 

Cesare lies on his bed, between life and death. At this moment, death seems preferable.

 

He feels like weeping. It’s not fair! All he wanted was to have a little fun.

 

_Shit, man!_

 

He’s a good guy. He respects his mother. He slows down when he drives through school zones. He is nice to puppies. He doesn’t shoplift. He doesn’t tear the labels off mattresses.

Self-pity overwhelms him.

 

_Can’t I get a little crazy sometimes without having the fires of hell come down on me? Can’t I ever catch a break?_

 

He feels tears gather behind his closed eyelids.

 

_Life sucks!_

 

So preoccupied is he with the misery of it all that he does not hear his bedroom door open quietly, nor the soft tiptoeing of bare feet across the carpet. He barely feels the bed sag slightly as a petite form lies down beside him. A small, female hand cups his naughty bits. What the hell?

 

_Aw, now I’m fucking hallucinating! I’ve got the DTs! What next? Pink elephants?_

 

The hand caresses gently.

 

_Well, as hallucinations go, it’s a good hallucination._

 

When the hand tugs at his underwear, he raises his hips to assist with removal.

 

_Keep the eyes closed. Don’t lose the illusion._

 

The hand strokes him from base to tip, coaxing him erect.

 

_Fucking A!_

 

The hand moves to his scrotum and a soft, wet mouth engulfs his cock.

 

_Double Fucking A!_

 

The mouth glides up and down. The hand continues to tenderly manipulate his gonads. Warm breath fans his thighs. He is really loving this hallucination. He dares to reach down and encounters a head, which he palms like a basketball. The head has long, silky hair, just like...just like…no, no, no…it can’t be…can it?

 

_Um…I really should look. If it’s who I think it is, I should stop this. But I’m so close. Aw, fuck it! It’s just a drunken illusion. But does this mean that deep down I want to bang her? Well, so what? I’m shitfaced. I’m having a hallucination. Just a fantasy visit from the Blowjob Fairy. Nothing more. Just go with it._

 

He just goes with it. It only takes a few more moments and he’s there, spurting hugely into that obliging mouth that has brought him to this moment. He groans in carnal satisfaction. His body slumps.

He hears Kleenex tissues being plucked from the box on the nightstand. He feels soft lips pressed to his own. He forces his eyes to open.

 

_Oh, god!_

 

“This is an illusion, isn’t it? You’re the Blowjob Fairy. You’re not real. This didn’t really happen?”

“Oh, I’m real, all right. And yes, it really happened.”

 

He groans.

 

_Life sucks._

_So does Lucrezia._

**Author's Note:**

> For my very dear friend, a little more "hanky panky."


End file.
